More In Common Than You Know…

With all the things different here on the other side of the world, it’s fun to catch the common ground things.

Just when I think I’m the only one that loves to pick zits…

 

And there she is going for the right angle.  Way to get in there girl!

T's Obsession

With the world expo around the corner, the mascot "water baby" can be seen all over China.  Tanner needs a picture with it everytime he sees it.

Women’s Conference

We had a great weekend get away at Asia Area Women’s Conference.  There were little workshops to go to teaching you everything from Faith to Improving Relationships.

Here is part of our group: Back: Maya, Jennifer, Lori, Allison B..  Front: Alison W., Me, Cheryl, and Shelley.

And here we are again at the Airport together.

On our way to Outback… because it was high time we had some Cheese Fries.  We don’t have an Outback in Shanghai.

 

And of course we couldn’t wait to introduce my good friend Shelley, who is from Australian to our version of Australian food.  Um, she’d never heard of a ‘Bloomin’ Onion’… and neither had any other Australian.  Um, and Cheese Fries were not exactly Australian either.  Luckily, Shelley’s game for anything, and ate the greasy American food with us anyway.

Then we were on to the workshops.  I signed up for some great ones.  One was taught by my very close friend Tracey Butters, from our Branch.  She had about 10 tips to a successful marriage, that reminded me of the book “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”, by Dr. Laura.

Here were her some of her 10 tips, all on bright yellow paper, written clearly:

1. Temple marriage doesn’t always mean a successful marriage.  You have to work at it.

2.  Getting married is just a step in the process of life, not the exactly the point of arrival.

3.  You women do not carry an ‘umbrella of righteousness’.  If you can’t say anything nice…Society has demeaned men.  Many have given up.  Never criticize your husband’s efforts.  If you ask your husband to do something, followed up by corrections, he’ll never want to help again.

4.  You have the ability for a fantastic marriage.  Marriage is to be enjoyed, not endured.  Daily habits:

-Make your spouse THE priority

-Talk nice.  Don’t complain about the kind of bread he brings home if it doesn’t match your request exactly.  It’s just bread.  It’s not worth hurting his feelings.

-“Don’t focus on whether you married the ‘right’ person, focus on treating him ‘right’.”

-Don’t talk to someone else about your marriage.  Go to him.  He needs to know that all people you associate with knows you think he’s Superman.

-Don’t play ‘cut the pie’.  He works full time.

-Don’t be angry if he stays late for work, he is working!

-Don’t play ‘can you guess what I’m feeling and why’.

-Untie knots with family and friends… you are tied to HIM.

-Forgive everything.  Right now.  For past, present and future.  Forgiveness is not a gift you just give, it is truly a gift you receive.

 

Then she spoke on this!  Atta girl.  Such an avoided topic among Christian women.  Such a necessary part of a healthy balanced marriage.

-Get dressed up.  Not just for ‘other women’ (lol, ‘cause you know we do) you see throughout the day, but get ready for him. Do your makeup.  Dress nice, he deserves it.

-Don’t take him for granted.  Make his time with you worth his while.

-Remember and talk about the good things.

-Don’t set up ‘traps’ for him.

-Assume the best.

-Gifts, notes… just because.

-Text him all the time, he’ll love it.  (I think this was the only part I didn’t think Tim would love, lol). 

 

We tied quilts (all arranged by my friend Jennifer, above) for orphans. 

Cheryl, Alison, Me, Alyson, Jennifer, Shelley, Lori, Peila, Tonya.  Front: Jane, Allison, Maya.

There is a website for the Asian Area Women’s Conference…. just need to find it.  It was wonderful.  There were sisters from all around Asia.  My group just represented the Eastern part of Shanghai.

Teach Your Child To Ride A Two-Wheeler In 6 Hrs or Less

(There are 3 tips below that we’ve learned from various friends- below in Bold).  Pass it on…

It’s been in the 70’s here in beautiful Shanghai… so the kids on our street love to get out (there are about 13 in our friendly cul-de-sac).  We are lucky to always have great neighbors…

Of the 7 houses on our end of the street--

2 families are from Hong Kong,

3 from the US,

1 from Belgium (whose daughter has dreadlocks, and she makes the best waffles that are more like fortune cookies, you would adore them too!!).

1 from Finland (Sisu’s family, if you remember.  Sajia, his mom just added boy #3 last week, soooo cute!).

Anyway, it’s Spring, and it’s time and the kids get out to ride their several different wheeled toys.  Here (above) Alex’s mom is teaching her daughter to ride the ‘Ripstick’.  Notice Hunter in the background falling off his little bike.

Her kids are a bit older than mine, and one day she saw Tim and I trying to teach Hunter to ride his bike w/o training wheels.

We were at it for a few hours, and she suggested (here comes her brilliance):

“Don’t hold on to the seat, use a towel.  It teaches them to balance on their own.”

She said a neighbor had taught her that, and so now I’m passing it to you bloggers….

So we tried it.  It only took two afternoons, and that was it!!  No training wheels for Hunter!

And yes, by the way…  I chopped the ‘woodstock’ flash back hair is off to ‘Locks of Love’, who now takes dyed hair.  It was waaaay too long.  All my friends know I chop it shorter with each new baby that comes into the home- so here you are Miss AnnaLeigh.

 

Here we are.  This is Hunter posing while riding (clever).  And me trying to wave.  Sloth style.

   

Determination!!  Oh, and by the way, another friend (Allyson Davidson, also lives in China)told me about a new book called ‘The Nurture….(shoot, just forgot the other half of the title!)”. 

Anyway, I’ll keep you posted on the title.  It’s one of the most current Parenting books out, and the entire book goes through and corrects the most common parenting mistakes (of our time) through study groups and statistics. 

The most common mistake for our time is to say “Good Job” to your child (according to this book). 

Guilty!

Better it is to say “I can see you are being really determined.  Wow!  Look at that effort”.  Then children shift the focus of  being inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad’ at something to focusing on the part they do have control over.

So I tried to never say “good job” or any of those types of compliments for this bike riding project.  And wouldn’t you know, the ENTIRE time he was learning, he never once got frustrated or discouraged!?!?  Wow.  The focus was on the effort and not on the end result or final critique.

Here’s Hunter riding off into the sunset, that confident little boy.

The next morning (yesterday, Saturday, here in China), Hunter rode his bike all the way to the restaurant for ‘father and sons’ Saturday morning breakfast. 

 

While we are on the theme of learning things from other families…

It was the Mecham Family (Jared & Sandy) that shared with Tim their tradition of ‘father and sons’ Saturday morning breakfast… over 6 years ago when we lived in New York.

SO, now I close with many thanks to you bloggers for all the tips you’ve shared with us through your blogs, I could go on for days.  You are some of the smartest moms out there!!

Tanner’s Ears…

Many of you knew Tanner got tubes put in his ears last October.  Here’s his story that lead up to that point.  His speech was delayed, and I just thought “well, maybe he’ll just be a physically active boy more, no big deal”. 

 TANNER’S HEARING (if you want the details, they are here in blue, or you can just skip this part): However, I had taken him in 3 times to get his ears checked, each time the doctors said his ears were fine.  It wasn’t until I brought him to a foreign doctor, an ‘ENT’ that she said (within 3 minutes of looking at his ears) “wow, he’s got backed up water for the last two years!  One of his eardrums is even blue, and recessed, it doesn’t even move.”

She set up surgery right away, the following morning.  He was to fast over night and not eat breakfast (b/c of being under anesthesia).

That morning, we kept him way from food until the early afternoon, about 10:30.  While we were putting on shoes, he found and ate 3 cheerios (about) out of the diaper bag!  ARGH!

So they delayed the time for another few hours.   Tim was a great sport about it and didn’t complain about missing work at all.  We just spent some one on one time with Tann at the markets around the hospital. 

Update: the surgery was successful, and his vocab has already doubled in just a few short months.  He has started cleaning and picking up toys happily, he can have tons of interactive imaginative play with friends.  He has a strong desire to do what’s right.  And over all, just a happy little boy, which is what every parent wants most.  You are such a trooper Tanner.  It just breaks my heart to think of how resilient kids are and how they just deal with what ever comes their way.  You are truly a stalwart little 4 year old Tanner, we are so proud of you.

… You stinker, ate those Cheerios, lol.  But because he did, we got to hang out and see all of the following with Tanner at the markets while we waited to digest the 3 Cheerios.

This is what we saw…

Bamboo poles.  These are used in construction.  They literally make latters around buildings while they are being built.

 

These huge bags have hundreds of fish, cheek to cheek inside.  You can see in the far right bag.

These are tons of turtles for sale.  There are ones smaller than quarters, and range in every size from there.

 

More fish.  Tons.

These crickets don’t look very big, but there are some up to 4 inches big that we saw!  People buy them because of the beautiful ‘music’ they make.  These ones are particularly lucky… at $3 USD each.  There are also areas that ‘fight crickets’ here in China.  Whod’ve thought?!

Little frogs.  When we lived in Castle Rock, I bought Tim an aquarium that we put on our little penninsula.  He would just sit in his big chair and gaze at the tank when he got home from work.  We had two of these little guys.  Then we had this big ol’ eel that was a ‘Chinese Dragon Fish” that we named “Kang”.  Our frogs disappeared.  Kang was the culprit.

Here is Tanner before surgery.  He is saying “AAAAAAAGH!” really loud, it reminds Tim and I of the sound Lloyd Christmas would say “Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?”  But when Tanner does it we absolutely crack up.  He hasn’t done this much since getting out (now that he can hear how ‘charming’ the sound really is, lol).

Here is my little guy right after surgery.  Wow, never thought it would be so emotional for me.

 

Here’s Tim making a mockery of me being such an emotional wreck.  Seriously, the most supportive man ever.  Isn’t it funny how husbands know just what to do when tension is almost more than a Mother can bare.  Love this guy.  Love all my guys.

 

Here’s to better hearing Tann the Man!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhh!

Our Exchange Student, Lily

Better yet, call her my first daughter.  She was 17 when she came.  Which would mean I must’ve been 12 when I birthed her.  Okay, too weird.  Anyway, I was her host Mom.

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Lily was our daughter for only a few months before we suddenly got the call we were moving to China.  It was sad to see her have to move in with another host family, but I was always excited that one day she could visit us in China.

And she did!!  She is from Beijing, but came down to see us while visiting family in Shanghai.  She went in to Hunter’s school with me on his birthday, met a couple of my Shanghai friends, stayed up till midnight watching shows on the internet, and we even went out to “Johnny Moos”, b/c Lily hadn’t had American food for a long time.

@ Johnny Moos, eating burgers, fries and shakes.  Because I’m sure she missed the cholesterol of the US diet.  Who wouldn’t?

With Hunter’s Birthday cookie, bringing it to school.  This is a new Calton family tradition, and how fun for Hunter’s ‘big sister’ Lily to bring it in and surprise him with me!

Funny Lily fact: Girlfriend can fall asleep anywhere.  Seriously.  And stay asleep, solid.  Anyway, here she konked out, and little opportunist Tanner found someone to snuggle.

I sure do love this gal, and was soooo excited to meet up with her again, on her side of the world, over 2 years later.

Hunter singing in Chinese

Tim & Hunter went to the park and there was music playing over the loudspeaker.

Hunter said "I know this song" By the time Tim got out his camera, this what he got.

Totally unstaged.

Can you tell Hunter is not camera shy? He has been on Chinese new stations 3 times already. These foreign kids make for good media here in China.

Heath

Well, now it would only be appropriate that I start with a nice clean cut civil picture of everyone’s favorite comedian.

For two reasons. 1. So you can see what the before picture looks like. 2. Because of all the pics I’ve seen of this man, this might be of the few where he’s not pullin’ a face. H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. Holly, hope you don’t mind me thieving these pics from your FB.

Yes, that’s my beautiful sister that you all love. Back row: Cannon and Jaedyn, front row: Ethan and Terin.

Some of Heath’s characters are cool and relaxed.

In contrast to Chuck Norris.

And ain’t nobody gonna take the house down like Elton John.

Unless of course the artist formally known as Prince upstages him in the same night.

And so what if some our other family members want in on the dress up fun. Oh Todd, gosh, the biceps are a dead give away.

My Grants Pass

In November, I got to go to Grants Pass, Oregon.  I promised you I’d write about it.  So much fun was had, that I will post in segments!  First, in this post, I will tell you a bit about this small town that brings back fond childhood memories. 

Here I am with my Mom and my brother Todd at a local Diner in Town.

Here’s a pic from ‘in town’.  See the beautiful mountain views?  This is where I grew up for part of my childhood.  My Mom said that when we were driving into Oregon for the first time I said “Ah, isn’t Oregon just beautiful!?”

Above, there’s a something about this town that reminds me of the cartoon “Cars”.

Front porches, so quaint.

And it seems as if all the houses have pick up trucks parked out front.

Here’s the road on the way to my Mom’s place.  Jealous?  It’s amazing, and the thing I love about my Mom is that she never takes the beauty for granted.

Further on the way to my Mom’s place, here are 4 pick-ups for sale.

And around the bend… 40 Miles per hour of beauty.

And some Semi trucks in somebody’s yard.

And a rusty ol’ tractor with stories to tell.

And you can’t help but run into a herd of wild turkeys that slow down the traffic.

I love this town.  Truly, an ‘everybody knows everybody’ feeling.  I’m never a stranger when I visit, no matter that I live on the other side of the world.  Everywhere I go I hear “You must be Judith’s daughter, or Holly’s little Sister, or Todd’s little sister, or Dave’s little sister”.  And with introductions like those, I’m sure to have ‘insta-friends’ at the local Wal-Mart.