When you registered your child for school, did you ask any of these type of questions:
-What happens when my child hurts his/herself?
-What is your 'restroom' policy for children needing help in the restroom?
I never had to ask these questions before.
In the US, you'd better bet that the school doors wouldn't even open without these policies FIRMLY in place...
That, or they'd get sued and have to shut down.
In China, it's different. People don't sue like they do in the US. Good, right? Hmmmm....
2 years ago, Hunter told me his male teacher was taking children to the restroom, without any other adults present. There are 3 female teachers, and 1 male per classroom... what the heck!
When I approached the school, they were immediately defensive, and said 'males don't take the children, it's against our policy'. Then I explained what Hunter reported to me.
Shortly thereafter, the boys switched to a Chinese school. I loved the Montessori school they'd originally attended. And since Tanner has been out of school for a while while I've been developing his English at home. I thought of that Montessori.
When I asked about Tanner's class the principal of the school snubly said "There is a male in the classroom, so you don't want your son in our school." Then later went on to say "the male teacher only takes the children when the other teachers are busy".
WOW, way to avoid the responsibility of having a restroom policy (I think in the US, it's just 2 adults present, the gender doesn't and shouldn't matter) and assume the parent to be a 'man-hater Alanis Morsett'.
I clairified "I asked that you do not let the male take my son to the restroom by himself, and you assumed I don't like male teachers? Don't you think if I didn't like males that I would not have sent my kids here in the first place?"
Her response "you pulled your children out of our school because we had male teachers".
ARGHHHHHHH!!!! Totally avoiding the issue at hand:
THERE IS NO RESTROOM POLICY!
What's more weird.... I jus might be the only mom that thought to ask. I must be a totally weird Mom to ask if a school has a restroom policy. I believe the other Moms just assume their child is safe b/c the policies exist in their home countries.
Then, here's the kicker...
A friend of mine told me that in China they don't have access to all background checks for foreign teachers.
And yet still, of all my friends, I'm the only one who asked about a restroom policy b/c we are so accustomed to our home country having one in place.
And when I do question, I am labeled as the 'weird freak-out man-hater' Mom.
I want to shout from the rooftops and get Moms to ASK, no, DEMAND there be a restroom procedure in their international school, one that the school should make their teachers accountable for. Heck, international schools are 30 K per year! That's like a Master's degree education.
Somebody throw me a bone. What would you do? Do you think I'm being weird?!
Grateful Friday
4 days ago
7 comments:
I don't think you're weird at all. I think it's a reasonable expectation, and I'm really shocked that the school (which from what I can tell, is used to expat students) doesn't accommodate foreign cultural expectations such as that.
I think it's a basic human right, regardless of where you live, that you should expect your child to be safe. So no, I don't think you're overreacting at all.
Oh brother...talk about hitting your head against the brick wall! Sorry you have to go through all that frustration and explaining over and over. Policies are changed (or made!) when someone brings it up and demands something be done about it...it has to start somewhere. Looks like this one starts with you. (And it only takes one horrible experience to mess our kids up for the rest of their lives... so....) You go, sister!
I guess I always took this for granted because so far (for preschool, kindergarten and first grade) my daughter has had a bathroom attached to the classroom so they don't need someone to escort them. I didn't realize how lucky I am...sorry you have to deal with this. I have other things that totally frustrate me about public school though. For instance, I thought lunch room food was supposed to be getting healthier...not more deep fried and greasy! The ELEMENTARY cafeteria serves some variation of pizza EVERY OTHER DAY! And the other days are corn dogs, chicken nuggets, nacho supreme or french toast sticks! They say 'we offer a sub sandwich and salad bar every day' but what kid is going to choose that over fun foods--as they are allowed to only pick one or the other! I'm definitely trying to figure out ways to send lunch to school without it costing too much but not being PB&J every day. I guess we all have our own trials. Good luck!
Mother's intuition is the purest form of inspiration. --Harold B. Lee
Trust your instincts. Every mother has to freak out on behalf of her children sometimes. It's part of the job description and you're a great mother.
Definitely not crazy -- I am surprised that they don't have a more firm policy being an international school. More parents need to speak up and maybe they would.
I think as a parent ANY PLACE you have the right to ask ANY questions you darn well please! Just curious ... our country seems to have got totally crazy with sex crimes of all types the last few years (I know they've always existed but it just seems so much more prevelent. What is China like in that way? Is there a high sexual crime rate against children like there is here? Just wondering! Continue to be proactive, Suzanne -- you'll never be sorry about that when it comes to your children!!
you are a weirdo, but for other reasons. he he he! i love you! I miss you and i, as usual, agree with you! you're a positive force wherever you go! be the leader, cause i need someone to look up too! (honestly, i never thought to ask, probably cause mia's not in school yet!)
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