My Longest Post Yet

Totally thought the title would detour you from wanting to read this post. But you're much too clever for that. It's the week of July 28th, and the veil between earth and heaven is a bit thinner on this week.

July 28th is on a Monday this year, and Barry, my brother would've been 33.

Many of you knew him, and if you did, you loved him. You couldn't resist. Barry's proudest message of his life was simple:

People Are What Matter Most
The acronym: PAWMM... it sounds an awful lot like PALM.

Here's some things about Barry you might like to know.
1. One time Barry was at a party with all his friends, and he greets someone walking in. His buddies remind him that the girl was trashing his name. Instead of retaliating, he says to all of these machos: "ah, kill it with kindness". He proved that individuals mattered most.

2. My Seattle parents got a letter once from someone at church. The writer had seen Barry (a teenager at the time) teaching Steve Underwood how to play one-on-one basketball. Steve was mentally retarded and he and his siblings were being raised by a single mother. Barry didn't care which of his peers saw or didn't. It was the individual who counted, not the crowd. At that moment, Steve mattered most.

3. Barry was always protective of his family. He once had a roommate that was always a jerk to him, and I felt vengeful towards this guy! Barry never complained, just laughed it off. Never mind that I snuck in and put Fart powder in the dude's milk (it wasn't hard to find with the guy's name in permanent ink written all over it). And of course, my roommates and I had to fill his truck cab with Styrofoam too. And that wasn't the end of it. Let's just say, I never told Barry. I knew Barry would be disappointed in me if I didn't just let things go and accept his roommate just the way he was.
A year later, Barry and I sat on the front porch late one summer's night just talking. I had to tell him. We laughed and laughed. Then he jerked his chin upward to the left, and out of the corner of his eye, he said seriously: "Suzy, do you realize I almost got in a fight with this guy?! The guy said he knew it was you, and I told him 'My sister would never do a thing like that!' and we got face to face, and I was going to let loose on him."
Me: "... oh."
Family mattered most to him.

4. One night back in our singles days (again, in Utah, just after he got back from his mission, and I was preparing for mine), he knocked on my door at 2 AM. He said he needed a place to sleep. In the morning he told me he had to get away from what his roommates were getting into that night. A modern-day Joseph and he coat of many colors story (not that anyone was chasing him, but they were just up to no good--). He just separated himself from the situation, without diminishing the names of his roommates. Because being a true friend meant not judging or demeaning others for their actions.

5. Barry and I loved to get together and prank one of our older brothers. This brother, at that time wouldn't say I love you over the phone (he does now though). We'd call him and say it over and over to see if he'd say it back. Barry always ended his phone calls with this phrase, and you knew it was true.

6. Barry always had it in him to support the underdog. I remember him sheepishly telling me he felt bad for 'Buzz Light Year' when Buzz found out he couldn't fly. And his favorite cartoon was "The Iron Giant", because he believed people had the power within themselves to change.

7. Barry loved to treat people a bit better than they were used to. He liked to make people laugh. He never got a college education. I think it's because 'People' isn't a major in college. And that's all that mattered to Barry. I remember when we showed up to a family reunion of my Mom's. We hadn't met these people in our adult lives and I couldn't help but feel a bit of pride in thinking my siblings and I were the coolest ones there. But Holly and I watched as our brothers brought out the very best in everybody there. There were no boundaries or introductions necessary. Family was family, no matter how different we were.

8. Barry loved his car... almost as much as people. He could barely afford it, but man did it sparkle. One night, he was out with friends in his car. I called him at 9 PM. I was preparing for my mission, and had hit a rough patch. I just needed someone to talk to. He was in the neighborhood, and before I knew it, he was there on the front lawn of my apartment. He came walking up the grassy slope, and tossed his keys to his friends. People mattered more than even sparkly expensive objects.

9. One time I was very upset at him. Later that night, I propped my feet up and over the sill of an opened window to read my scriptures... feeling very self-righteous. I looked out my window to see Barry with a girl walking towards me. He was on a date, and had brought me Carmel cashew frozen custard through my window. He told me he had to introduce his date to his awesome sister. He would even take me as a third wheel for many of his dates (he'd never tell me it was a date, b/c then I'd try to back out). He loved to make me feel special. People mattered more to Barry than avoiding social faux-paus.

10. When I think of Barry and his "PAWMM" message, I want his legacy to live on in me. I want to try that much harder to make him proud. I want to copy who he was, and make it who I am.

And the more I think about it, maybe Barry's message wasn't all that original...
I think he'd be proud to say his life was a feeble effort of following the example of another older brother:

The Savior said "As I have loved you, love one another... by this shall men know ye are my disciples..." I think you, Barry, proved to me you were just that, a humble follower of the Savior.

I love getting small slices of heaven-- little glimpses-- that your mission continues. I love seeing what I can be when I have your help. There's always a place for the undeserving, the outcasts and down-trodden around your table. I want to feel what you felt when you gave a bit more than a prudent person would. You gave in when you could've taken back. You were what the savior wanted you to be. You showed the world that it was possible, to put people first. Christ healed and touched lives one by one, and I see your life as a tribute to your creator. You fulfilled, in your 25 years what would take me much longer.

But it's soon July 28th, where I remind myself that People Are Matter Most. I love you Barry Webster Grannis. Happy Birthday bro!!